


I Don't Like It Here

by CharMarStein



Series: Never Agian [5]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cutting, Depression, M/M, Self-Harm, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 02:20:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2530409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharMarStein/pseuds/CharMarStein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He didn't mean for it to be that deep, there was just so much blood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Like It Here

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, Kudos, Critiques.

Everything smelled like chemicals, the smell was overwhelming and the white walls were boring to look at. Niall had to get out of there. It was not like he really needed the doctor anyway. He has already gotten the stiches and it wasn't like he had been trying to kill himself. He looked down at his wrapped wrists and then further to his pale fingers intertwined with Zayn's tan ones. The doctor had tried to get the sleeping boy to leave but Zayn had refused putting up such a fight that the doctor finally said he could stay.

Niall looked around the room once more giving a frustrated huff when he found it just as boring as it was last time he checked, two minutes ago. He shouldn't even be there in the first place, he dint mean to cut that deep, he really wasn't trying to kill himself. 

*************** ***************** *************** ******************** ***************** ************** *************

He was hyperventilating, his lungs needed air but he just couldn't seem to take a breathe, Zayn was rubbing his back murmuring words of encouragement. Niall had woken up from a nightmare screaming and panting. When Zayn had woke from the noise he had tried to pull Niall into a hug but his body being so close had just made Niall worse. He had to get out of there, he needed some relief, and with that thought Niall knew exactly what he needed. He pushed Zayn's soothing hands off and ran toward the bathroom. He locked the door just in time as he heard Zayn grab the handle trying to stop him. He grabbed the razor that he kept hidden and took a deep breathe. 

"Niall please don't, I'm right here you don't have to." Zayn banged on the door. He knew Niall was still cutting but he had hoped that in the last seven months they were dating that it had gotten better. "Niall please, let me help you!" Zayn kept jiggling the door knob like it would suddenly unlock if he continued. 

"Zayn please just go away." He hadn't cried while cutting for months but this times the tears were streaming down his face. "I need you to just leave me alone, I'm not good for you." He was searching his skin for a spot, any spot free of a mark. His hips and thighs had long since been full and his stomach was mostly full as well but the spot that was clear, the spot his eyes locked on were his thin pale wrists. He put the blade against his wrist. "You need to leave me... I'm not good for you." He then started to slice his wrist watching as the blood welled up and fell into the sink. 

"No Niall please. I need you." Zayn was banging harder against the door. Niall only cut deeper, he couldn't do it, Zayn was suffocating him. "Niall I need you to unlock the door." All Zayn could do was hope that Niall would listen. He heard the sobs through the door and it was breaking his heart. A few moments later he heard Niall mutter something and then a click as the door was unlocked. Zayn quickly opened the door only to find Niall sitting against the wall blood steadily pouring from his wrist. "Shit!" Zayn exclaimed as he rushed to Niall's side pulling out his cell phone to call for help.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." Niall mumbled head rolling over to look Zayn in the eyes. "This wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't mean to." Niall's eye started to droop. He was so tired, he just needed to sleep. He really hadn't meant to cut so deep, he just needed to feel it.

"No don't you dare go to sleep." Zayn said lightly slapping Niall's cheek. 

One thing lead to another and here Niall was, stuck in a hospital waiting for the doctor to let him leave. He was on suicide watch because the wounds were self inflicted, but it was stupid, he wasn't trying to kill himself. Zayn mumbled something and squeezed Niall's hand but when Niall looked down the boy was still asleep. The doctor chose that moment to finally come back into the room. He saw the sleeping boy and turned to walk back out. "Hey wait, when can I get out of here?" Niall asked before he could reach the door. 

The doctor sighed, "I would like to keep you here for 24 hours to keep an eye on you." 

"How many times do I have to tell you!" Niall's yelling woke Zayn. "I was not trying to kill myself, I'm fine! I'll wont do it again, never again." The doctor looked at him skeptically. "You can't keep me here anyway, I'm an adult and I don't want to be here anymore." With that Niall started to get up from the bed. 

Both the other men in the room started speaking at the same time. "Sir I highly recommend you stay." "Niall listen to the doctor." "Someone needs to keep an eye on you" "I think this is what is best for you." Niall continued to get up anyway. He was thankful the doctor had let him put his own clothes on because he was not in the mood to stick around and listen to either of them try to get him to stay. 

He made it to the door before turning to look at them both. "I am leaving, I'll call Louis, he told me he would pick me up. Never again, promise." With that he walked out leaving a very confused Zayn and a frustrated doctor behind.


End file.
